A new Day filled with choice choices.

A new day. I appreciate new days more that ever! I stayed up the other night and got a lot of my life history done. I have also had quite a few phone calls from long lost friends. I do know, with out a shadow of doubt, that God answers prayers. This new chemo has kind of messed me up emotionally, and I cry practically around the clock, but the other day, in the middle of a crying jag, my home teacher knocked on the door and said he felt like he needed to stop by and just visit for awhile. He said some things to me that i really needed to hear. He asked me what I was afraid of, and I said..."not dieing, really....I am afraid of the pain. He owns an assisted living complex, and he explained that when the time comes, I will have no pain, or very minimal. I also told him I was heartsick for my kids, especially a couple of them that I think will have a rough time. He pointed out how strong my children were. We reviewed my patriarchal blessing and he said I had overthrown many of the ills that plague mankind and that I had lived to see my children and grandchildren become strong in the gospel. The next day in the waiting room for radiation I overheard two older men talking about dieing, and that we all have to go sometime and that this was as good as any they guessed. I started thinking about that, and realized how much I have been able to accomplish knowing this was coming...the memories I have been able to make. and share. It really helped my attitude!!! Another cool thing is our trip to Orlando. I need everyone to pray with me that I will have the time to go and that I will feel half way decent for the family. We have planned some great things, and I am thankful for Keith, as he more or less has taken over and put the whole thing together for us. I spend every day in the doc's office and working on other projects so I rarely have the time...I also made such a stupid mistake the last time I planned a trip...I actually had my return flight booked for the same day I was leaving for SLC. Here is a plug for Southwest...when I told them what I had done, trying to hold back the tears, they just charged me $22.00 for the difference in cost of the ticket, and let me fly home on the day I meant to go home. Yeah SW!!!!!! Now if our prescription company could be half as cooperative, life would just be hunky dory!! Well, I will keep you posted about the trip. I am so thankful that gary has agreed to pay for everything...as the kids are all pretty broke right now ..just after Christmas. I told him that this was our gift to them, one that I hope will last a lifetime. I am done with radiation today. I am so glad! it just saps the strength right out of a person. It will be a wondrous day when they can cure or stop cancer without all of this barbaric stuff they do to other humans. I don't know how people can make this their lifeelong profession, but, I guess I am glad someone does so that i can have a few more months to love. Love....that is the key to keeping me going each and every day. Look for ways to love and serve, even if all you can do is embrace a hand or smile. Ask Heavenly Father to show you the best way you can serve. I know He let my home teacher know just what to say and do. We can all be instruments in His hands.