Celebration of Life

It has been awhile since i have posted a blog. I have been very busy trying to get Christmas wrapped up, plus I have spent most of this week taking tests to see where the cancer is or is not. I will know more on Tuesday of next week. The family was here for Thanksgiving, all except April, Chay and family...and we missed them terribly. We did enjoy each other though and did a little planning for Christmas. Linda was wonderful and had April come to her house for dinner. I was so glad they had a lace to go.

Some days it is hard to write on my blog. I get so emotional that I am afraid I am chasing everyone away. I feel very lonely at times and then very busy...not sure how I am going to do everything I planned on doing. When you are marked to die, you definitely look at life differently than you did before...I just want to cram everything I can into every single day. Sad thing being that I just don't feel very good. I cannot remember anything! The other day gary and I had the dumbest fight. I told him that if he'd get a squash that we raised this summer and clean it, I would bake it for dinner. We both wound up cleaning the humongous ting, and then Gary asked me if I had turned on the oven. I hadn't and he got mad a me and I threw squash at him...it was awful...but we did laugh about it later. I just hate being reminded that I am slowly loosing my mind. I understand it is easy to freak out occasionally when you are taking all the drugs I am taking.

I am hoping that I can take some more time off from Chemo in December...and if the chemo has stopped working, i guess I will get my wish...so it is a hard thing to wish for. Oh, by the way, I am having a celebration of life party on the 17th from 6 to 9 PM. It is sort of an open house with entertainment, so I hope many of you will come. Should be lots of friends here and lots of fun. I've told everyone I am throwing my own wake!!!!

Keep in touch when you can...I sure miss everyone!!! I will try to write more.

A NEW DAY!!

It Quit Raining, I am ready to fight some more. The blessing said I have more to do, more people to love and embrace...more to learn. My tumor markers are going up, but I can fight back with the Candida diet. I am still here...still trying!

Rain

Some days are just harder than others. You wake up to a drizzle and it doesn't let up all day. You fight with everyone you know and are told things you can barely stand to hear and by 5:00 PM it is a torrential down pour of icky mud everywhere you go. I finally asked for a blesssing...but even that did not help much. I was told Jesus would hold me in his arms if I just sought after Him. Last night, I prayed and it was all I had to give. Today I just want to give up. Would it be okay? I am so tired. If ever I needed the Savior, it is tonight. I have so little left to give...so little energy. Are we talking quality of life or quantity? I Need Thee Every Hour.

Come, Listen to a prophets voice!!!!

It is still such a beautiful Fall day. I am thankful for the sunshine and blue skies. I have been keeping busy sewing the past three of four days...i made buntings for my granddaughter and Jeans for the other one....kind of fun, I am just using up old pants I have and my supply of fleece. I think this Christmas i will attempt not to spend any money unless it is for home food storage and 72 hour kits. After watching the news last week with all the disasters going on all around us, I decided to help get my family ready in case we have a real need. Lorena's entire family is in Villahernosa, and the city is under 85% water due to a torrential rain fall that hit early last week. We have cousins in San Diego and I lived in San Bernardino for a time, and I guess you just never think these things can happen to you .

My thought for today then is to stop buying the unnecessary things, listen to the brethren...get out of debt and get as much food storage in as you possibly can. Wheat has already gone up $3 a bushel and now that the farmers are raising corn for fuel, all the meat prices will jump sky high, too

The trouble is we all know what we need to do, but it so easy to put off and just not think about. "If ye are prepared, ye need not fear." Lets all get prepared together. Lorena's folks are sharing everything they have with those that are standed. I hope I can be at the giving end when it happens to us. Remember the grasshoper and the ant?