Summer's End

I felt so strong the day this picture was taken...We took a hike up to Fern Falls, and although the trail was not very steep. I did make it, and it was not all that hard. Since then, I started Chemo again, and some kind of bone therapy to strengthen them...and it has wiped me out again. But I have my rest week this week, after having the last round of the three rounds I need to go though, so I am running wild with ideas and things I would love to accomplish if I feel good this week.

My tumor markers are down from 600 and something to 34. That was a cheery slice of news!!! I feel good since chemo yesterday...but much of it is due to the steroids they pump into you just before getting the navolbean. (Chemo)....It is only 5:00AM and I am wide awake planning 6 million things to do today and tomorrow...before the good stuff wears off!!

We were going to drive down to see April, she is really struggling with Julia and colic. I feel so bad for her, but there is so much to do here, and I would like to get something done before the weather turns nasty. It is already freezing at night. We picked grapes yesterday, and apples a week or so ago. I swear, the applesauce is the best I have ever made, and we don't even know what kind of apples we have. How big do crab apples get? These are small and sort of tart, yet sweet at the same time. We will go down to April's around the 18th of October...during my next break. Then, April, Chay and the kids they are coming here for Christmas. Lorena comes home next week, I think. It will be so nice to see her and AJ. I have really missed them. I guess AJ is walking, and Bryon is so excited to see her. I think next week we will sneak off to Radium before the weather turns to winter.

It has been a good week. I did baptisms and sealings in the temple, but I messed up. I was with a veteran group, all in their 80's or so, and I had some names that I had not cleared properly for sealing. I realized this after one couple were sealed that did not have the rest of their work done. The sealer, without me saying a word, recognized that I was troubled and he fixed the mistake for me. It was such a sweet, spiritual moment for me, as Gary was not there, and it was a very important sealing in his family that he needed to be in the temple to witness and participate in. The Lord knew this and stepped in with His spirit and inspired the temple sealer to fix the mistake, and give us time to be together as a family for this sealing. Words do not do this justice, I know, but it truly was one of the sweetest moments I have ever had in the temple, one I will never forget.

Well, I think I had better try to get a little sleep Thanks again for your continued prayers. I had a blessing about a week ago that was so sweet and dear to my heart. So many of my fears were calmed and I felt like Heavenly Father was talking directly to me, as He, through the priesthood, addressed so many of my concerns. I am trying to turn my life over to Him each and every day so as not to waste a moment of time. I have felt your prayers of encouragement, and love so much. Thank you

Change your attitude

Okay...so I never write twice in one day...but after feeling so low this morning, I decided to go to a cooking class. I had fun, I ate good stuff and I talked. I could have stayed home...it would have been the easy way out, but I decided to make myself go, and by golly...it was not all that bad. It really depends on our attitude. Life really is worth living, and if we try we can find joy every day. So...shape up world...Speak, even when nobody speaks back

You Talk Too Much

Not sure what is wrong with me. I have cried so much this week. I keep telling myself it is the new bone medicine that was injected with my chemo last week. I know that my jaw is very sore (okay, you wise guys...it is not from talking too much!) In fact, that is part of the problem. I am not talking to hardly anyone. When I first got cancer back, people would call, but now, and I am sure of this, they just do not know what to say to me. I try really hard not to wine about my disease...and just be my normal self...whatever that is....but still, I don't see many people or talk to many anymore. It is like I am dead already. I used to get asked to do things or go places...but not now. I am partly to blame, but honestly, people treat those with fatal illnesses different. I know I have in the past. I will change that about myself if I ever get the chance. I will ask them about their families, their work...I'll take them out to lunch. I will just be their friend. I will make sure they are involved in church activities and I will help them feel like they are needed in some way. Maybe I am the one who needs to call others...but it is hard, especially when I might weep at any moment, or when I hear in trepidation in their voices when they find out it is me. Yesterday I finally asked my daughter if she would like to go to a movie. We had such a nice time. It was a tragic love story...a true chick flick, and I felt young and giddy at all the right places, and I didn't think about cancer once. Well...that's enough talking for today...I need to clean my bathroom.

Good News!!!

Results are in and the treatment is working!!! Very little lung
involvement and no lymphatic involvement. I still have some skeletal
cancer, but it has not enlarged. My blood work was good. I am still
waiting for the tumor marker results and there was some question with
the brain mets. I had three small mets when I was in Tulsa, and I
still have three small mets. Joni was not sure if they were the same
or new ones, so she is sending for all the records and then having me
see Dr. Robert Fairbanks to see if these are new, or can even be
worked on. I am starting another round of Chemo today. This time
we will go three months. My oncologist seemed pleased with the results so
far. I would like to go back on the green drink diet for a short while and see if I can speed recovery or have complete remission. I want to help this out the best I can.
Please continue your thoughts and prayers in my behalf that i will have the strength to do the diet again....it's a very difficult one to do. And thank you for all of your love and support!!!