Thank you, Father

It is late, but I really felt I needed to share my thoughts tonight. We had a family council and dinner tonight about the trip. It was mostly just a lot of fun ruckus, but we were all happy to be going. We were also very grateful that April has taken it on herself to be in charge of getting the food together and seeing that everyone has a chance to help out with meals. Thanks, April. Even though you are far away, we felt your influence and desire to help and we are really looking forward for our family trip.

I also want to bare my testimony again about the power of prayer. I was really bummed yesterday...I fell the day before and I had so much pain...anyway, I was not very pleasant to be around all day long. Then I read the lesson I had to teach the Laurels today, and forgive me, I got so blasted mad,I just lost it. The lesson was on bringing spirituality in your home by improving your environment and your spirituality. Here I am in the middle of a physical and mental breakdown and I have to teach WHAT?????

I said to God, "How can you ask me to teach something that I am so far away from right now?" I cried and cried and then read the lesson again, only this time I read another article that spoke about the influence a spiritual home can have on the entire family and the world around us. I decided to go to bed and face this struggle this morning. I could not sleep. I had so much pain.

Finally I woke up Gary and asked for a blessing. He got out of bed and walked around to my side of the bed with the light still off and gave me the sweetest blessing. I was promised a good night sleep and that my pain would let up. He did not know about my struggle with giving this lesson today, but he blessed me that all would go well with my lesson and that the spirit would be with me as I taught. When I got up this morning, as part of the lesson I was supposed to call a girl and ask her to bring something that represented spirituality in her home. A lot of the girls were gone today because there was a mission farewell in another ward. So, I thought (Oh me of such little faith...) Good, there won't be too many girls in my class, so if I blow this terribly, at least some of the girls will be spared.

Well, Heavenly father stepped in. I just decided to tell the girls that I was not doing to well in this area of my life right now and we all talked of how we could do better. And then I asked the girl who I had asked to bring something spiritual from her home to share with the rest of us what she had brought from her home. Now, her mom attends my class sometimes, and was in our class today, so I didn't think much of it...but the girl said, "I brought my mom. She is everything good and wonderful about our home, and even though she is going through a really difficult time right now, she tries to be as happy as she can be." The spirit was so sweet...her mom started to cry, because she did not know why she was there. She has had so many struggles in her life that it breaks my heart!!!

Okay, now for the point. I was able to teach the lesson...the spirit guided me through everything that I was to say. It was a sweet lesson, but more importantly I knew that just because I was having a rough time right now did not mean it has always been this way in my home. I realized that Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to succeed in my calling as well as in being a wife, mother and grandmother. I also realized that many have been in our home and have felt the spirit. I just love the way Heavenly Father loves and understands me. I screw up so often...and yet He still cares. I am still His child. The day finished out with our family get together and a wonderful family prayer. Thank you, Father, for loving me.