Jaynee

Thanks to Gilbert. Your comment was the best part of my week.

The graduation party for Joette was nice. She had a nice get together here with family and friends.

But it has been a tough week. I feel like the cancer is back. I don't go to see Joni for another couple of weeks, but this week has been tough. I have cried a lot. I feel very much alone and I am not sure why. If I have to go through another round of chemo, I think it will kill me.

April changed her minutes on her phone to save money...and it seems the whole family is on the same family plan, except us. Dad won't let me change services as we get ours for free, which I totally understand. But still, I really miss talking to April and Kenzie.

The Lord always hears and answers prayers. Jaynee brought her kids over for lunch yesterday, and even talked to me later on the phone. I love you, Jaynee!!!! And I know when I do service for someone it lifts my spirits, so I have tried to help others all week.

But still, cancer stinks....and hurts! I think that is what I get so tired of.. the pain. Different each day.

Well, it is a lovely day. We have hay cut in the field and as I sit here typing, I can smell it and I love the smell.It is a pretty day, so I need to force myself to do something productive. I think sometime next week we are going camping. I want to get a fishing license and go fishing!!

Talk to you all next week. Hope life finds you well and happy.

I tried to get the yard in shape for Joette's graduation party. Here are some pictures.

URGENT!!!!!

All of us are being affected by the gas price. Senator Peterson from PA was on the Glenn Beck radio program today urging all of us to send a letter to our Senators and Representatives pleading with them to release the moratorium on off shore drilling in this country. According to Senator Peterson, we are the only country that is not a third world country that does not allow off shore drilling. Go to Glennbeck .com and read the article and if you feel as strongly about this as I do, contact your Senators and Representative by tomorrow and let them know that you want the moratorium lifted. Senator Peterson tried to pass a bill last week but it failed to go through because the Democrat majority voted against it. President Bush is going to address the congress tomorrow and hopefully convince the Senators and Representatives throughout Congress to reconsider the devastation that having our oil locked up will be to for this country. Read the article, and if you want to help, send a letter or email to your representatives urging them remove the moratorium to off shore drilling.

Please forward this to those who might be a little worried about the future of this country. They can find their Senators and Representatives address by going on line and looking them up. For those of you who live in Washington State, I have done the work for you…all you have to do is email or phone to those listed below.



The Honorable Cathy McMorris Rodgers
1708 Longworth
Washington, D.C. 20515
(202) 225-2006

Cantwell, Maria- (D - WA)Class I 511 DIRKSEN SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510 (202) 224-3441 Web Form: cantwell.senate.gov/contact/index.html

Murray, Patty- (D - WA)Class III 173 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510 (202) 224-2621 Web Form: murray.senate.gov/email/index.cfm

It is So Beautiful Outside today!!!

The weather has finally gotten beautiful. I have been outside every chance I get. My yard is looking so much nicer than it ever has. I love my pond and flowers. Joette graduated Saturday morning. You'll have to go to her blog and read about her memorable experience...I laughed so hard on the way home when she told me about her cap and gown. We had a little get together for her Saturday night. Not a huge crowd...just a few of her close friends and the family. It was a lot of fun. I am so proud of her. She will probably go on to get her Masters Degree. I just wish it was not so expensive for her to continue.

It seems like everything is getting so costly especially since this gas crisis. I have learned to just take a deep breath and pray with a sincere heart. When I do this several times a day it removes the worry, as I feel God's love and trust He will take care of my family. He will take care of the future as He has the past...(from the song "Be still, My Soul")

I feel pretty good. I overdo it most days and need to take it easier, but it is so nice to be off of chemo and able to do a few more things. Last night I walked home from a friends house...I walked a good mile and up a steep hill!!! I feel pretty good about that. I used to walk 3 miles every day, and at one time 5, but since cancer and my back injury I have a terrible time moving the ol' bootee.

Oh, and hello Lindi!!! It was so good to hear from you and to know that you are doing well.
I think it is so cool when I hear from some of the kids I taught in seminary because of this blog!

Families are Forever, Aren't you glad?????

Thank you Keithy Weithy for fixing my computer. What would this family do without your expertise. Thanks to Bry Bry for helping me with my little girl. She sits at the edge of the pond so sweetly! Thanks, Jo Jo, Kakers, and Lore for helping make my thrown together dinner last night taste wonderful with your great additions, and the fact that you were here and brought your kids. Sorry kids that we didn't get to play "kick the can".

Have you ever eaten Naan bread? Oh my gosh...it is wonderful and you can flavor it anyway you choose to. Thanks Jo Jo.

Thanks to Apey Snapey for always calling me. I love to talk to you and the girls. Well I need to get busy, I guess. Have a great day!!!

Teaching

Thursday night we went to Joette's advanced certificate graduation for institute. She acompanied the choir and we had a nice dinner, I met Bro. Adams and we talked about seminary and institute. I told him I didn't think I could do seminary as it would be every day, but he asked me what I thought about institute once a week. I just got chills!!! I think it would be the reason I am still alive...to work with the young, single adults on a weekly basis. I have gotten to teach them a few times on a substitute basis,and I really love that age. There is very little discipline because the youth really want to be there. Anyway, he said he would let me know in a week or so, so here's hoping!!!!!!

Robert D. Hales

Sunday, Robert D. Hales was the Apostle that came to visit our Stake Conference and speak to us. He gave so much advise on living a joyful life and being blessed as we keep the commandments. He also talked about light and how as members living righteously, we carry that light with us wherever we go. Elder Merrill from the 70's came with him, and both meetings were so beautiful. I had a sweet exchange with Elder Hales on Saturday night. I found myself, upon leaving for home with him being right in front of me and nobody shaking his hand, so for a split moment, I thanked him for his beautiful thoughts and then told him I was just pronounced cancer free after almost 5 years of cancer and that I had been in stage 4 cancer. He asked me what kind and I told him. He looked at me and with the most genuine look of love told me to look for him in three years and tell him that I was still alive. Now, it was not a blessing, par say, but more like a promise that If I would look to serve where God wants me to I would live...at least for three more years. I really felt the spirit go right through me as he talked and counseled with me for those brief moments.

I keep asking the Lord what he would have me do each day of my life. Today I was sick all day. More or less exhausted and worried that my cancer is coming back. I cried a little, and prayed for some blessings I have been seeking in my life. I just hope I figure out my mission soon.

The yard is looking better all the time, and I hope I continue to have the strength to keep it up this year. I keep hoping Joette will choose to have her reception here. She is going to have her graduation party here. If it is a nice day, we will BBQ and enjoy the outdoors. God Bless You all!!!

Loving Spring

Okay, so I still have not figured out a way to download Kenzie's sweet recording, but i did take some photo's of the yard. It still needs a ton of work as last year I didn't do much of anything. I will take some more pictures in a month or so so you can see the improvement!!! Let's hope there is some!

Gamma

Today was a beautiful day for church. I did just realize though, that most of the Laurels that I have taught the past two years will be graduating and moving on with their lives. I truly love those girls. They are so spiritual and beautiful...it will really be hard to part with them. I am so thankful that I got the chance to be in their presence each week. What a blessing they have been. We had a lesson from a conference talk about faith and it left me wondering what Heavenly Father has planned for me now. I want so much to do what He wants me to do. Not knowing if the cancer will be back in a month, a year or 10 years...I just want to learn to listen to the spirit better than I ever have so that I can do God's will each and every day.

I had someone come over from "All About Ponds" and fix my pond. i could never get it to look right, and it always leaked. It now runs and looks nice, plus it has places for me to put some plants, etc. I have worked outside almost every day this week. Sherry came over Friday afternoon with her granddaughter and we went to CDA to pick up two of my granddaughters and go shopping for awhile. The next morning they helped me, along with Linda, to get more of my planting done. It has been a cool spring, but I have enjoyed it so far, as I cannot stand the heat and working outside. My yard is really looking up this year, and it makes me happy.
When I get the front done, I will post some pictures.

I talked to April and Kenzie for a little while last night. Oh, how I miss them. Kenzie called me one day last week. She must have pushed redial on her mom's phone or something. I was not home, so she left a message on my answering machine. She gibber-jabbered for a minute or two, and I could only understand a word here and there, and then, just as plain as day she said, "Gamma, where are you?" Then there was a pause. "Where are you Gamma?" After which she let out a very heavy sigh and with tears in her voice she hung up with a sorrowful "Bye, Gamma." I can not bare to erase her message from my phone, and I listen to it several times a day. Does anyone know how I can record it and put it on my computer? It is priceless to me.

Have a great week.

Good News

HURRAY!!!!!!

I am in remission!!!
Thank you for all of your prayers. Thank you Heavenly Father.

Ripples

Some of you saw the pictures I sent out of Mckenzie by the reflection pond at the SLC Temple. Today, I used those pictures in my lesson as I talked to the girls about preparing to go to the temple. I answered many of their questions and then we talked about the eternal nature of the temple and I showed the pictures. The first one didn't have anyone in it, just ripples, that had traveled across the entire pond. The next one was of Kenzie, touching the water,ever so lightly, and yet, she was making ripples. The next one was her watching the ripples she had made as they traveled across the pond. The last one was of her reaching far into the pool to make even a bigger splash. I told the girls that their life was like those ripples, and that the choice they make to go to the temple is eternal and will go on forever and ever and that every choice they make will have a consequence. Then I told them of my sealing to Gary in the temple and had them listen to a beautiful recording of my granddaughter, Ashlee, singing "I love to see the temple".

Since then, I have thought so much about the ripple effect of each of our lives. I went to the Stake Young Women in Excellence tonight where Joette was the keynote speaker, and felt the ripple effect of her talk...so spiritual, so tender. Then I thought of April and Chay and their being parents of two darling girls, and the ripple effect of their training on their children and teaching them to love God. And my other children, Bryon and Keith and their spouses and children, all of us, sealed in God's holy temple, reaching out to touch the world, to make it a better place....and it will go on forever and ever and my heart rejoiced. Sometimes I wish I could have done more, or said more or shared more. And failed less...but those ripples of eternity remind me that I have made my mark on the world, and I believe Heavenly Father looks down upon me and is pleased...maybe not so much with my efforts, but of those that are following His course because I was here.

Mother's day

It was wonderful. The day was not my usual Mother's day, though. I was invited to Keith and Calie's for dinner, but the night before Calie got really sick. Keith took me out Saturday night for breakfast. Ashlee was speaking in Sacrament meeting the next day (Mother's Day), so I went to hear her. I loved how she talked about her mom's laugh and how she never looses her mom in a crowd because she can hear her laugh!!! Calie does have the most infectious laugh of anyone I know! She also said some sweet things about her grandma. I was touched to tears.

When we got home from Church, I decided to treat my favorite mother's to dinner, so I made dinner for both of my son's wives and there families. I even made homemade bread...not very good, I am out of practice. Bryon sent over a lovely geranium and Joette gave me some mascara
And April gave me a wonderful letter. It was a sweet day. And Heather, anytime you want to come I will put you to work. And Jaynee...would love to see you ...just call to make sure we are home...and bring those cute babies out to see me!!!! I am working in my yard as much as I possibly can this year. Saturday I went to a plant exchange for the ward. It was really fun and I gopt some things I have never seen before. I have a ground cover I planted a couple of years ago and it is taking over the yard..like some kind of creeping monster. Time for the round-up, baby!!!

If I still have Health Insurance...and could we all bow our heads and say a prayer that I do... will have a Pet scan this Wednesday, and I will learn from that if I have any active cancer growing in my body anywhere. Thank you all for your faith and prayers I cannot wait to go camping this summer. Can anyone tell me why my computer keeps going to italics without me asking it to????Do you ever wonder if they have a mind of their own and they are plotting to take over the world??? Anyone out there want to go camping with us? Have a great week!!!!

Cancer Overload

I had a Dr.s appointment on Monday with the neurosurgeon and he pointed out another spot on my brain that they had seen on the MRI I took last week. Then on Tuesday I saw Joni and she wants to do another Pet Scan "just to see how things are looking in side" She is still excited about my low numbers, but a little worried about the pain I have been having in my neck, shoulders and down my arms. I fell about a month ago, slipped getting out of the tub, and the pain has increased since then. Then today I got a call from the scheduler for the Pet Scan and they said I didn't have health insurance anymore and it was about then that I freaked out....Cancer overload!!! I did get the insurance thing straightened out....I think. And just this minute ago, I hit a key on my computer that turned all my typing into italics (Not Intended)!!!! Wow...I don't know what I did, but now I am typing in regular script again.

I wanted to go to a mother/daughter thing tonight at the church, but I didn't have a daughter available, plus I missed taking my pain medicine and I probably would have torn someones eyes out if they looked at me wrong....just kidding, I would have stepped on their toes!!! My Master Bath is still torn apart. We can't seem to find the towel bars that Gary took off while I was gone and he started the painting...I bought a beautiful rug for the bathroom at Costco's and realized I needed two rugs, then drove all over trying to find another rug, which never materialized. And tonight I lost a letter that I was supposed to mail for Gary and failed to do it....I think I wrote the number I was to call about my insurance for the Pet Scan I am supposed to take on the back of it...who knows?..Okay, enough is enough...I am stressed, can you tell???

I can't end this without saying something positive...Oh, my cancer Dr, asked me if I wanted to be on Q6 news and answer 6 questions about my illness and how I have dealt with it. Now, keep in mind, she asked me this yesterday and I enthusiastically said, "I would love to." Was I nuts??? No. Most days are really wonderful, and I thank God I am alive to enjoy a new moment...but every once in awhile there is a day like today, and I just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!

Ripples

I am thinking about the ripples of my life tonight...how everything you do and think and feel has an affect on you and all those around you. In the innocence of this beautiful child are ripples that reach to eternity. They start with just a touch and spread out, making circles of love that go on forever.Can you feel it? I am so grateful that life goes on forever and that images such as these and the ones that follow will forver be in my heart and mind. Thank you Heavenly Father. I love you.

So Much Love

Kenzie --A gift...JuJu- Joy in the morning

A Heart Ache

I made it home today. It was so nice to have that extra week. We got most of the laundry room done, and it looks so nice. Chay just needs to build some shelves for food storage now.
April has this unique power to hope for something and then she receives it. She wanted cabinets for her laundry room, so she prayed and got free cabinets given to her. We painted them all and they look great. She hoped for a piano and we found her a really nice one free. Last night she heard from a woman who has a wooden fence, only a few years old in great condition, and they can have it free if they take it down. It is so cool to watch, as she pays her tithing and trusts God how he blesses her and her family.

Last night, we had family prayer downstairs where I always sleep when I go to her home. I was crying when they all came down, knowing how much I will miss them. McKenzie was concerned to see grandma cry. She asked me if I was sick. I told her "Yes, I have cancer, but that is not why I am crying. I am crying because my heart hurts because tomorrow i go back home on the airplane and I don't know when I will see you again." She patted my back and then left the room for a few minutes only to come back with a hat that I gave her over a year ago when I visited her home after having chemo. I wore that hat most of the time because I didn't have any hair, and when I left to fly home, I gave her the hat and asked that she not forget me. So, last night, with the hat in her hand she told me in unspoken words that she will never forget me, as she clutched the hat I had given her. April called tonight and said Mckenzie had asked about me all day. I sobbed and sobbed. She is so close to my heart. It is so hard to have her live so far away. The only advantage is that when I go to see April I have quality time with my grandkids and really feel like I get to know them. The grandkids that live near home come over for Sunday dinners and such, but we never seem to get together to just enjoy one another, except when we go camping. Anyway, I cried quite a bit today, and my heart still aches for two little girls. I would love to see my other grandkids real soon.

Long Time Friend

I am struggling with a problem that I don't have a clue what to do about, except to just let it go...which has never been my style. I had a friend that I corresponded via email for almost 6 years, and now that person will not receive email from me. It was wonderful to renew our childhood friendship. He actually helped me to sort out much of the abuse I endured as a child. I was under the impression I had helped him some, too. I had several spiritual experiences that made me feel certain that I was to share the gospel with him...but all of a sudden he up and closed the door without warning.

I don't understand. I am grateful, though, we had the time to talk to one another, and I hope he knows he was a great strength in building my realtionship with my husband and my brothers and sisters. I am still in Utah, and had a nice visit with my sister yesterday which would have never happened 6 years ago. Life is interesting. Heavenly Father brings people and experiences into our lives when we need to grow to become more like him. So to my friend...I will always be thankful our lives crossed again after so long a silence. I hope I don't have to waint another 30 years to hear from you again! God Bless You Always!!

My Idol

I decided at the last minute to stay another week with April and chay and the girls. It was hard....I though I actually had until tomorrow to stay, but when I found out I was to go home today, it just seemed to0 short of a visit. It is hard to come and harder to leave. April and I did go to see Emma Smith (the movie) last night and it was so incredible. Most of the same actors are in the movie "Joseph Smith" playing in the Legacy theater right now. The movie was incredibly well done and I felt my heart just break for Emma and all that she suffered. I think every Latter-day Saint woman should see it.

I got to see my sister this morning. We had breakfast at IHOP. That is another reason I did not want to go home just yet. I hadn't seen her or Melody or Jeannie B.

I have felt pretty good this time around, only I still get very tired. It was hard to leave my hubby home for another week. This is my last trip down here without him. It is my last trip anywhere without him. I miss him with a huge ache in my heart. I understand more than ever before why Marriage is meant to be eternal. And watching that movie last night just confirmed it again for me. Have a good night 's sleep honey bunny !

And you know what else is just cool??? David Archeletta and Brook White are still going strong on American Idol!!!! Hurray!!!!!

My Week

It is Monday morning and I am watching JU JU while April gets paint and primer for the basement. We got it cleaned up and taped over the weekend. I am loving seeing the girls. Mckenzie is definitely in her twos...sometimes she couldn't be more precious, and then other times....oh boy, watch out!! I taught JuJu patty cake yesterday.

I went to a production put on by Weber State insitute where Dennis Winters danced and their choir sang. The entire program was patriotic in theme and it made me so proud to be an American. It was nice to see that while so many are trashing the country, these strong Latter Day saints were singing with all they had in them.

Yesterday we went to a farewell Sacrament meeting for one of Chay's cousins. It was wonderful. She was born death, and after her family came to Utah, she was able to get the help she needed. She spoke at her fairwell, and I was able to understand her. She was called to go on a sign language mission. The other guy who spoke talked about all the miracles he had witnessed when he was on a Tongon mission. Afterwards we went to Chay's uncle's home for goodies. I am so excited for April that she has such a terrific family so close by.

April and I are sneaking out tomorrow night to the movies. I am headed downstairs now to prime the laundry room. I am feeling pretty good this week, as long as I get 10 or so hours of sleep and an hour or so nap in the afternoon.