Thursday, November 29, 2007

Celebration of Life

It has been awhile since i have posted a blog. I have been very busy trying to get Christmas wrapped up, plus I have spent most of this week taking tests to see where the cancer is or is not. I will know more on Tuesday of next week. The family was here for Thanksgiving, all except April, Chay and family...and we missed them terribly. We did enjoy each other though and did a little planning for Christmas. Linda was wonderful and had April come to her house for dinner. I was so glad they had a lace to go.

Some days it is hard to write on my blog. I get so emotional that I am afraid I am chasing everyone away. I feel very lonely at times and then very busy...not sure how I am going to do everything I planned on doing. When you are marked to die, you definitely look at life differently than you did before...I just want to cram everything I can into every single day. Sad thing being that I just don't feel very good. I cannot remember anything! The other day gary and I had the dumbest fight. I told him that if he'd get a squash that we raised this summer and clean it, I would bake it for dinner. We both wound up cleaning the humongous ting, and then Gary asked me if I had turned on the oven. I hadn't and he got mad a me and I threw squash at him...it was awful...but we did laugh about it later. I just hate being reminded that I am slowly loosing my mind. I understand it is easy to freak out occasionally when you are taking all the drugs I am taking.

I am hoping that I can take some more time off from Chemo in December...and if the chemo has stopped working, i guess I will get my wish...so it is a hard thing to wish for. Oh, by the way, I am having a celebration of life party on the 17th from 6 to 9 PM. It is sort of an open house with entertainment, so I hope many of you will come. Should be lots of friends here and lots of fun. I've told everyone I am throwing my own wake!!!!

Keep in touch when you can...I sure miss everyone!!! I will try to write more.

3 Comments:

April said...

this weeks blogs have been about our outbursts and throwing things...calie and a toy me and a cup- mom and squash- I think you win mom- throwing squash just sounds better...

Mckenzie will enjoy the celebration of life party since she will be turning 2 on that day. I was thinking we could celebrate her birthday when Chay gets in town....daddy has to be there!

Mom- it is ok to get emotional on the blog- I mean heck really what are they for? just spill the beans- get some reaction out of people and on life goes- it is so healthy to just let it all out- you know that better than I do.

Death isn't the end- don't cram in everything each day if it wears you out...you have already created a legend- do what keeps you busy but give your body a rest here and there-

Calie said...

I have missed reading your blogs. Thank you for writing.
I agree with April you win the squash sounds better. maybe I will try it. :)

Anonymous said...

Loved April's comment - it's perfect - you HAVE already created a legend so you don't need to "cram" anymore. And as far as "emotional" goes, you have the perfect group of family and friends to understand that!!!!I look forward to seeing you next week. I'll call.