Seasons

First of all, I want to thank my daughters for their love and appreciation expressed for me. I honestly did not bribe them or pay them for writing such nice things about me...my cancer probably caught them at a week moment! HAHAHAHA!

Every once in awhile cancer catches me off guard. Today I spent all day testing. I did a Pet Scan, a CT scan and an MRI. It was during the pet scan that I just broke down and wept like a baby. The lady was so sweet to me, and I just couldn't hold back the tears. Once they started, they just would not stop. It was though a flood gate of emotions kept pouring out...all down my cheeks and onto my blouse.

As I lay in the recliner, allowing time for the contrast to work, I could not stop thinking about my life, my children and all the things I would still love to accomplish. And asking God,"Why me?" I know we are not supposed to ask that question...so many suffer and so many are in so much worse circumstances than I am...but today I thought of how hard I have tried to serve my God and my family. I just want to live until I have accomplished a few more things that I need to finish. And I would like to feel good enough to do them. Today, after the tests, I came home and slept for three hours...I was wiped out.

Okay...enough complaining. I did get to go camping for a couple of days at the beginning of the week...to my favorite spot on earth. My daughter-in-law and grandkids went with us. We are leaving in the morning for one last jaunt up the river. Most of the family will be there...and yet, my heart will ache for the rest as I miss them so.

Fall is in the air...you can feel it at night and see it in the dew of the early morning hours. I love the smell of the mountain air and the fading green of summer as the season moves to the next stage. Perhaps I need to look at cancer as a changing season...with its very own sights, smell and sounds. Can I ask that you keep praying? I need your faith and prayers so very much right now. Next week I find out how long I have left.