Walk With Christ

Gary left today at 1:00 p.m. and I had an appointment with physical therapy at 3:00 p.m. to be fitted for a cane. After testing my strength, the therapist concluded that I would be best served by a walker. Before that even sunk in, he handed me one and had me walk down the hall with it. Part way down the hall we stopped where another woman with advanced cancer was sitting and he asked if we could use her walker which was the “Cadillac” of walkers with a seat and brakes. I tried her walker and it worked a lot better and was really nice. As I was returning it to her, suddenly I was overwhelmed with the realization that a walker might be a permanent fixture for the rest of my life, and I lost it. My emotions just welled up inside of me. I couldn’t even hear the conversations around me. All I wanted was my room where I could really let down and cry. I felt alone, abandoned, and forsaken by God . . . all of these emotions rushing up inside of me.
Back in my room, just as I had explained it all to a friend via email and had pushed the send button, the phone rang.

It was the concierge telling me that I had a guest in the lobby. He went on to explain that she said she had met me on Sunday at church and just wanted to stop by and see if I needed anything. I told him I would be right down to meet her; but inside I was a little upset that a stranger had interrupted my cry. I took my time wiping my eyes and blowing my nose and making my way downstairs. When I got to the lobby, the first thing I noticed was that she was holding a book titled “Walk with Christ”. And then she proceeded to stumble through the explanation of why she had come to see me. She told me that she was also a visitor to Tulsa, having come from Colorado to visit family; and had heard my testimony on the previous day and decided that I needed to read this book. The book is a 14 day, pre-Easter program to help the reader draw closer to Christ. Standing there listening to this complete stranger, knowing that she was out of her comfort zone yet offering help to me in any way she could, touched me so deeply, i started to cry again for another, sweeter reason. She went on to say that she had felt prompted to come to me, that she had never done this kind of thing but was wanting to follow the spirit. We wound up talking to each other as though we were life long friends; with so much in common. The entire experience reminded me that Heavenly Father is always so aware of us . . . even when we feel alone. And even though this cancer journey smothers me with difficulty at times, I know that my Savior is walking with me and that He does and will and is sending angels to hold me up.